Willing Heart

"If the heart is willing it find a thousand ways,
but if the heart is unwilling it find a thousand excuses."


Funny. As i read the lines, flashbacks of memories of the times i had been willing and unwilling, times with people i have spent who had been willing and unwilling, decisions made willingly or unwillingly, came to mind. The common denominator of the experiences and decisions, was the state of my heart when the willingness or unwillingness happened. What are they?

The willingness to serve the God though the path to service is crooked, unpaved, and dusty. Often times you'll get your skin burned by the sun, lips parched due to dehydration and eyes watering because of strong winds.Yet amidst all of these I decided to keep serving because I was willing to experience these for self fulfillment.

The willingness to stay though many options had been handed down. Anchoring on the saying that "Your home is where your heart is." I am home.

The willingness to speak. To be vocal of what you feel towards others. May the feelings be of love, anger, resentment, joy, condoning, and hatred. Believing that being able to speak your thoughts will give you peace of mind. It did. Though the words I utter may sometimes hurt me and the recipient, for oftentimes the truth hurts, but better be hurt by the truth than allowing the falsity of situations and decisions or continue pretending you are content and happy with the lies.

The willingness to love even if unloved. (this one is common not only for me but for the public in general... hahaha...) That in this willingness the pain of not being loved back is endured. To remain in a relationship that is taboo to society. To keep fighting for a love that has not been fighting for you or will never be fighting for you anymore. To be content with glances, meaningless conversations, and short encounters. To be disrespected, battered and trust in the many of occasions of mistrust of  friend or a partner . All these are endured for the heart is willing.

On the other end of the spectrum.

Unwillingness happens when you do not love someone even if you are that person's world, when you do not commit in a relationship, when you keep holding on to memories which should have been left in the past, and when you do not let go of what is dragging you or hurting you and creating excuses to continue living in these situations.

The unwillingness to serve, to pursue your passion, to speak what you feel, to let go, to move on, to risk, to start all over again, and to decide.

The reason to be unwilling in matters concerning our lives, may it be in the relationship, in the success ladder, or in our personal life are uttered by words such as no guts, no opportunities, lack of time, holding on, hope, etc., but the only plausible excuse for such unwillingness is that, your heart just do not want to let go.

How willing am I?