(My Great God Experience)
Lover. Healer. Is the name I generally use for my God. I know I can call him Father, Teacher, Friend, etc., but Lover and Healer are the ones that struck me most. They are names of people I never had in my life.
I never had a lover who could make me cry and laugh at the same time. Someone who whispers 'I love you' in times when I needed to hear it most. Someone who tells me 'I also get jealous you know!' Someone who stays and loves me even if I have been pushing Him away. Someone who takes me back even if I have hurt him and had been unfaithful to Him numerous times. Someone whom you know and confident that would be there for you even if others have already turned their backs from you. A Great Loving God.
I have met a lot of Doctors but blessed as I am I have never been admitted to a hospital. I have never been needing physical help from a healer. But pain is far beyond the physical pain. Yes, I may have never been admitted to a hospital but the pain, scars and injuries I have gone and is going through in my life needs more than a plaster of band-aid. I don't even know if a surgery would heal it. They fail to see how sick I am and how much I am in need of a healer, so I ask God to not only be my lover but to also be my Healer.
Those two describes best my God. The ones I need most in my life. He is male and aging around 40ish and I deeply got to know Him during my high school days when I entered in a Christian community, though it was my parents who first introduced Him to me as Saviour. He lives in my house, so I can easily talk to him when I want to. But there are things I can't talk to Him at home, like sins. So I schedule a visit with Him at His office called the church where I often attend mass. When I can't seem to hear him at home (usually those times are times when I get so full of sins and I stopped listening to his lectures and He stops talking, I guess), I also go there. I think God sees me as very unfaithful to him and when I go to His office, in times when I feel the gravity of all the sins I have committed, he takes me back again, without me even needing to beg him. Very forgiving God.
We usually talk about matters in my Family. Like when our family problem is going to end, what he is trying to teach me with this problem, etc. I consider Him to be the Greatest Architect, my Idol, I get to have the best advices from Him for my profession, He even promised me that He would be making wonders in my life beyond I could imagine but up to now, I have kept ignoring His advice and He still patiently waits for the time that He could make those wonders. And that is what frightens me with Him. And as he is my lover, love and love life is usually our favorite topic of discussion at home or at his office. He usually finds me crying many times when we get to this topic and because of that, He found my weakest spot that all I needed was someone to love me and never let me go. He just says He will surprise me one of these days. That, considering He has surprised me billion times already.
Presently, I usually do the talking so how I wish He could be more talkative to me like the way He used to be when He gave me prophetic tongues. The last time He told me was 'Let go and let Me' that was way back in June. When I talk to Him again, it is the same thing! He tells me over and over and over again, even up to now! I am really hard headed. So it took a while for me but now I get it, to Let Go and Let God.
Right now, as I am without a Healer and a Lover, I am just glad and always been reminded that I have a Great God to fill what I feel is lacking in me.
Great God! I like!
