The One Minute Manager

By: Kenneth Blanchard, Ph.D

Spencer Johnson,M.D.

"Effective managers, manage themselves and the people they work with so that both the organization and the people profit from their presence."

"People who feel good about themselves produce good results."

"Productivity is more than just the quantity of work done. It is also the quality."

"Quality is simply giving people the product or service they really want and need."

"Productivity is both quantity and quality."

" A problem only exists if there is a difference between what is actually happening and what you desire to be happening."

"Help People reach their full potential. Catch them doing something right."

"The more consistently successful your people are, the higher you rise in the organization."

"The best minute i spend is the one i invest in people."

"If people get results, then it certainly makes good sense to invest in people."

"Feedback is the breakfast of champions"

"Everyone is a potential winner. Some people are disguised as losers, Don't let their appearances fool you."

"First you can hire winners. They are hard to find and they cost money. Or second if you can't find a winner, you can hire someone with the potential to be a winner. Then you systematically train that person to become a winner. If you are not willing to do either of the first two..., then  there is only the third choice left - prayer."

"Take a minute. Look at your goals. Look at your performance. See if your behavior matches your goals."

"People are more complicated. They are aware, they think for themselves and they certainly don't want to be manipulated by another person. Remember that and respect that. It is a key to good management."

"So the key to training someone to do a new task is, in the beginning, to catch them doing something approximately right until they can eventually learn to do it exactly right."

"With a winner you don't have to catch them doing things right very often, because good performers catch themselves doing things right and are able to be self reinforcing."

"Before giving a reprimand you have to see the behavior yourself - you can't depend on what someone else saw. You never give a reprimand based on hearsay."

"Telling people what they did wrong; telling people how you feel about it; and reminding people that they are valuable and worthwhile - lead to significant improvement's in people's behavior."

"People need to be in contact with people who care about them - to be accepted as valuable just because they are people."

"It is very important when you are managing people to remember that behavior and worth are not the same things. What is really worthwhile is the person managing their own behavior. This is as true of each of us managers as it is each of the people we are managing."

"We are not just our behavior. We are the person managing our behavior."

"Touch is very honest. People know immediately when you touch them whether you care about them, or whether you are just trying to find a new way to manipulate them."

"When you touch, don't take. Touch the people you manage only when you are giving them something - reassurance, support, encouragement, whatever."

"There are things that work, and things that don't work. Being honest with people eventually works. On the other hand, being dishonest eventually leads to failing with people."

"You have to care enough to be tough."

"Goal begin behaviors. Consequences maintain behaviors."

"Nobody ever really works for anybody else. I just help people work better and in the process they benefit our organization."

The Longest Moment of Clarity

by: Adam Robinson


I already apologized and I know you forgive me, but there's something I failed to make clear. I don't think the sort of behavior I exhibited on the phone last night is "okay." I have always been fully aware of the status of our relations. I went into our arrangement with total knowledge and have continued to engage in it with that same knowledge.

In denial of this, I accused you of being in denial. I said you disappointed me because I was disappointed in myself. The love I was talking about on the phone is not love. It was an eruption of internal desperation. It had nothing to do with you. In my resolve to restructure my identity, a primary goal was to quell exactly that sort of behavior, to gain some self-control and emotional discernment. This only shows me that I have much father to go in my progress toward change. I didn't think. I lied to myself and thereby to you. If I could take it back everything I said last night, I would and instead, I would say this: 

I love you as a friend, first and only, and hope only for your happiness. My behavior was surely not consistent with this priority.

I would also have ended our "friends with benefits" in calm, rational manner (as I tried to do last week. My back-peddling was only a further show of weakness and lack of self-control.) It's nothing personal. I enjoyed what we had for what it was, and have always known what it was, despite how I sounded last night. One of my new goals in self-restructuring includes the fact that I will never be anyone's friend with benefits again. 

I know you never felt romantically toward me and I know why. You want someone with enough clarity of mind not to engage in unnecessarily hurtful and irrational behavior. Totally understandable. My own feelings of romance were predicated on a set of feelings I imagined you to have, though I knew, consciously, you never possessed them. I agree with you that we are too different, and that there has never, from day one, been any sort of future for you and I. I have always known this, and to tell you otherwise was to let my selfish desire do the talking. It has nothing to do with anything you did, and were you not around, I would have been unleashing it on someone else or myself. 

I've also come to agree with you, that there is no such thing as unrequited love. It's one-sided. So it's not love.


the love letter collection

First Aid: Quotes

First aid is done to heal or at least remedy instant pain. These are things or ways we use to alleviate the minor pains, or emergency responses before we under go surgery. We commonly see them as medicine kits so we fail to recognize them in our life's daily battles, where emotional scars, wounds and pains could never undergo surgery, hence, the only medicine we are left with is our emotional first aid kit, which we fondly call coping mechanisms.

Funny how much i observe that on the lowest points of my life, Quotes help me cope. This is one content of  my first aid kit. For it expresses what my heart fails to say. And here are some of those:

“And she will fool everyone with her fake smile and pretend laugh.”

“Dear heart, today I met a boy — prepare to shatter.”

“Don’t tell me you love me if you don’t really mean it, 

because I might do something crazy,like believe it.”

“She completely fell for him, but he didn’t even stumble.”

“I wish that I was as invisible as you make me feel.”

“It’s funny how someone can break your heart, 

but you still love them with all the little pieces."

“Sometimes we have to let go, 

just to be sure that there is something out there worth holding on to.”

“Just like Barbie, always smiling, even if she doesn’t want to.”

“Sometimes, when I say ‘Oh, I’m fine.’ 

— I want you to look into my eyes and say ‘Tell the truth.’”

“I guess what scares me is knowing that at any moment 

you could rip my heart out and step on it…

and I would just pick it up and hand it right back to you.”

“No matter what I do, I always forget to forget you.”

“I never stopped loving you, I just stopped showing it.”

“When you weren’t mine, I couldn’t get you. 

When I finally got you, I couldn’t keep you. 

When I couldn’t keep you, I got over you. 

When I got over you, you wanted me.”

“If it’s a broken part, replace it. 

If it’s a broken arm then brace it. 

If it’s a broken heart, then face it.”

“Sometimes, two people have to fall apart 

to realize how much they need to fall back together.”

“There isn’t a moment of my day 

that isn’t spent wondering where you are, 

what you’re doing, how you’re feeling. 

Even in the quiet of the night, 

when everything is still

 and I am nearly asleep, 

there’s a part of me that is still wondering.”

“If they don’t chase you when you walk away, keep walking.”

“It’s hard to decide when you’re too tired to hold on. 

Yet, you’re too in love to let go.”

“If a girl understands your bulls**t, sticks through your mistakes, 

and smiles even when you’ve done nothing for her 

— it’s obvious she’s a keeper. 

But it’s also obvious you don’t deserve her.”

“Your first mistake was leaving me. 

Your second mistake was giving me the chance 

to realize I could live without you.”

 “I miss you when something good happens, because your the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because your the one that understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry, because I know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you the most when I lay awake at night, and think of all the wonderful times that we spent with each other for those were some of the best and most memorable times of my life.”

quotelicious.com

How do I love thee?

by: Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,--I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!--and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Immaturity

I posted this write up 2 months ago in our Chapter's wall. Did not include it in the blog for i was not able to find the words that have inspired me to write the article. But this time around the words dance upon my eyes and my emotion calls for it.

Those who have not yet accepted their own imperfection are the first ones to judge and criticize the faults of others.

In this community, perfection is not essential. Fights occur with people whom we love the most. why? because they are the ones that hurts us worst.

But what is the true measure of someone who has grown in this community? is it by the number of households he/she attended? the number of teachings? the number he has invited on clps? 

NO.

The measure is your maturity. a maturity that becomes evident in the way you relate with people and the way you handle yourself with all the shortcomings that you know you have. 

This is a challenge. With all the schedules and meetings we have attended. let me ask, How much have we really grown? Will we be enough as a marketing tool in this coming CLP? Will people just by our example be excited to join this community?

Try to ponder. Because maybe you might have lost the very person God wanted you to evangelize just because of immaturity.

Criminal Minds

Profilers. Murder. Serial Killing. Blood. That is what Criminal Minds is all about. I love watching this movie series not because i take joy in watching morbid bloody films but more the reason that it allows me to know others more. In every episode, the main characters tries their best to get into the minds of the serial killer in the case that they are trying to solve. They gather personal history of the killer, studies the killings done, the killers signature and trophy, and from it analyzes (profile) who the killer could be.

My greatest learning i have had and still having from watching these films is that, my understanding for people have broadened. It allows me to see things beyond what is visible to the eye. Beyond what people are trying to show versus who they truly are and to have a greater understanding of why people do things that are not norms of the society. Another thing that i love the most about these and which i always look forward to in every episode are the quotes that makes you ponder.

So this collection will purely be about the quotes that had been used throughout the series. I will be posting it by batches. I hope by doing so, it would also make you ponder and think deeply about yourself, and especially about other people.

Season 1


"The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary. 
Men alone are quite capable of every wickedness."
Joseph Conrad

"All is a riddle, and the key to a riddle...is another riddle."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Try again, fail again. Fail better."
Samuel Beckett


"Nothing is so common as the wish to be remarkable."
(attributed to) William Shakespeare

"With foxes, we must play the fox."
Thomas Fuller

"There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough, and liked it, never really care for anything else."
Ernest Hemingway

"The healthy man does not torture others. Generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers."
Carl Jung

"A belief is not merely an idea the mind possesses. It is an idea that possesses the mind.
Robert Oxton Bolton

"The question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I, or the others crazy?"
Albert Einstein

"Unfortunately, a super-abundance of dreams is paid for by a growing potential for nightmares."
Sir Peter Ustinov

"Ideologies separate us. Dreams and anguish bring us together."
Eugene Ionesco

"The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone."
Harriet Beecher Stowe

"Evil is always unspectacular and always human. And shares our bed...and eats at our table.
W.H. Auden

"Measure not the work until the day's out and the labor done."
Elizabeth Barrett Browning

"What is food to one is to others bitter poison."
Lucretious

"Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves."
Confucius

"Who so sheddeth man's blood by man shall his blood be shed."
Genesis 9:6

"What we do for ourselves dies with us. 
What we do for others and the world, remains and is immortal."
Albert Pine

"It is those we live with and love and should know who elude us."
Norman Maclean

Who in his mind has not probe the dark water?
John Steinbeck

"In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present."
Sir Francis Bacon

"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
Abraham Lincoln

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe."
Friedrich Nietzsche

"Murder is unique in that it abolishes the party it injures, 
so that society must take the place of the victim, and 
on his behalf demand atonement or grant forgiveness."
W.H. Auden

"It is better to be violent if there is violence in our hearts than to put on the cloak of non-violence to cover impotence."
Mahatma Gandhi

"I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary. 
The evil it does is permanent."
Mahatma Gandhi

"A photograph is a secret about a secret. The more it tells you, the less you know."
Diane Arbus

"Other things may change us, but we start and end with family."
Anthony Brandt

"The house does not rest on the ground, but upon a woman."
Mexican proverb

"There are some that only employ words for the purpose of disguising their thoughts."
Voltaire

"We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others, that in the end, 
we become disguised to ourselves."
François de la Rochefoucauld

"Whoever undertakes to set himself up as judge in the field of truth 
and knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods."
Albert Einstein

"In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act."
George Orwell

"No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one."
Elbert Hubbard


"Try not. Do or do not."
Yoda

"The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you will see."
Winston Churchill

"When you look long into an abyss, the abyss looks into you."
Friedrich Nietzsche

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. 
Imagination encircles the world."
Albert Einstein

"There are certain clues at a crime scene which by their very nature do not lend themselves to being collected or examined. How's one collect love, rage, hatred, fear...? These are things that we're trained to look for."
James Reese

"Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. 
Try to be better than yourself."
William Faulkner

"Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those whom we cannot resemble."
Samuel Johnson


"Don't forget that I cannot see myself -- that my role 
is limited to being the one who looks in the mirror."
Jacques Rigaut

"Birds sing after a storm. Why shouldn't people feel 
as free to delight in whatever sunlight remains to them?"
Rose Kennedy

"When a good man is hurt, all who would be called good must suffer with him."
Euripides

"When love is in excess, it brings a man no honor, nor worthiness."
Euripides

"The irrationality of a thing is not an argument against its existence, rather, a condition of it."
Friedrich Nietzsche

One's Greatest Enemy

"Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors.

Try to be better than yourself."

William Faulkner

Starting from childhood, it was already ingrained in me to desire success. To excel from the previous accomplishments i have had. I grew up thinking that success and accomplishments are very essential in a person's life.

All the things i have desired for myself i was able to achieve quiet easily. Because of the will power, of becoming better than what i used to be. 26 years of my life, i have done nothing but that. To glide from one success to another. To always desire the best and not settle for mediocrity. Success then, equates my name.

Living with it, also made me demand the best from others. Especially when i know that the person can excel far better than his present accomplishments. To demand order and perfection not only from myself but from those people who surrounds me, whom i love.

Order and Perfection. Words that may be alien to some. To be able to have this, one must be in control. 

For the past 2 years of my life, i have felt losing control of the perfection i have created. I have met with people who would hate you for desiring success for themselves, who would put you down because you desire greatness in every event and situation that you come in contact with, people who silently hates you because of your demands for them, to be successful as well. To be excellent, to be better. Of people putting you in a pedestal of unattainability and forsakes you, judge you, not because you have sinned but because you have succeeded and keep demanding success in yourself and others. I never knew, that success sinful.

These events in my life, ate me up to the point that i stopped aiming for success. Opportunities which we call "breaks" comes into my life and i so willingly choose to let it go. Not because i could not do it but because i don't want to do it. I got tired of the labels that puts my name in a pedestal. So i stopped. I allowed failure to enter into my life. 

And now, i have completely lost the sense of who i am. The achiever. I am now in a point of hating myself for allowing others' opinion to matter in my life. I want to be great. I want to be excellent. I want to be famous. Right now, my greatest enemy is myself, for accepting in my vocabulary the word 'failure'. I am currently in a personal character battle. And in this battle i would try my best to emerge successful. Not only because i want to, but because that is 'WHO I AM'  and what i am destined to be.

"So help me, God." 

Willing Heart

"If the heart is willing it find a thousand ways,
but if the heart is unwilling it find a thousand excuses."


Funny. As i read the lines, flashbacks of memories of the times i had been willing and unwilling, times with people i have spent who had been willing and unwilling, decisions made willingly or unwillingly, came to mind. The common denominator of the experiences and decisions, was the state of my heart when the willingness or unwillingness happened. What are they?

The willingness to serve the God though the path to service is crooked, unpaved, and dusty. Often times you'll get your skin burned by the sun, lips parched due to dehydration and eyes watering because of strong winds.Yet amidst all of these I decided to keep serving because I was willing to experience these for self fulfillment.

The willingness to stay though many options had been handed down. Anchoring on the saying that "Your home is where your heart is." I am home.

The willingness to speak. To be vocal of what you feel towards others. May the feelings be of love, anger, resentment, joy, condoning, and hatred. Believing that being able to speak your thoughts will give you peace of mind. It did. Though the words I utter may sometimes hurt me and the recipient, for oftentimes the truth hurts, but better be hurt by the truth than allowing the falsity of situations and decisions or continue pretending you are content and happy with the lies.

The willingness to love even if unloved. (this one is common not only for me but for the public in general... hahaha...) That in this willingness the pain of not being loved back is endured. To remain in a relationship that is taboo to society. To keep fighting for a love that has not been fighting for you or will never be fighting for you anymore. To be content with glances, meaningless conversations, and short encounters. To be disrespected, battered and trust in the many of occasions of mistrust of  friend or a partner . All these are endured for the heart is willing.

On the other end of the spectrum.

Unwillingness happens when you do not love someone even if you are that person's world, when you do not commit in a relationship, when you keep holding on to memories which should have been left in the past, and when you do not let go of what is dragging you or hurting you and creating excuses to continue living in these situations.

The unwillingness to serve, to pursue your passion, to speak what you feel, to let go, to move on, to risk, to start all over again, and to decide.

The reason to be unwilling in matters concerning our lives, may it be in the relationship, in the success ladder, or in our personal life are uttered by words such as no guts, no opportunities, lack of time, holding on, hope, etc., but the only plausible excuse for such unwillingness is that, your heart just do not want to let go.

How willing am I?

No wonder why

I usually like quotes, proverbs and sayings. In FB, once i see one, i click on the like button or repost it. Then the Grains of Thoughts start running. Why do i like this? How does it apply to me? Why can I relate? As i try to dissect, I am led to a greater discovery of the 'who i am'. I am also hopeful that my discovery is also a discovery of others. For what makes ME is OTHERS.



 "A person's relationship to God is the defining relationship in his or her life
- when this relationship is out of order, every other relationship will suffer"

I paused and think... flashbacks of relationships entered my mind. (try doing a flashback as well)

How is my relationship? How are my relationships? lovelife? friends? family? sfc? workmates? my dreams? are they in order?

"no wonder why" is all i could say.

I SHOULD start changing my views. (emphasis on SHOULD - defining it as having a hard time or in the process of)

Instead of trying to make all other relationships in my life work, especially that which concerns my heart the most, i will first work on my relationship with the Lord. If in this i succeed then by His word, i will succeed in all my relationships...

How about you? Which would you want to work on more?