Worth

In our society we put on value on things stating how much it cost. Deciding upon what is cheap, costly, and priceless. Being oriented to such, it had come naturally for us to also place value not only on things but also on people, experiences and relationships.

We often say "it's not worth it" especially on times when we are already hurting. "He is not worth it"; "You deserve someone else"; etc. But how do we know what is worth and what's not on experiences and relationships?

The past few days I have been wondering about that question. One time, a friend of mine and I were talking about it. She told me that "she was willing to cry for someone as long as he is worth it." But again, what's worth and what's not?

Recently, I have made a decision which challenged my views on what is worth it and what's not.

Life involves risk. Every decision we make has an equal reaction. We never know what the consequence of the decision would be until we have already made and acted on that decision. It is later then that we realize that that decision was either bad or good, when it made us happy or sad.

I asked that friend of mine how she will know if the guy would be worth it. Is it, when at the end, they end  up being together, happy and loving each other? How about if it turned out the other way around? When at the end, even if how much she loved that person it did not turn that way she wanted it to be, would it then devalue the experience she had with that person, and that person itself?

It is this part now that I want to challenge.

 We experience things in life that at the start made us madly, truly and deeply happy yet ending up in bitterness and pain.  And we end up saying, "it's not worth it!" If it will not end, we'll never hear the words not worth it being uttered.

Pain is part of the risks in things that we do and I believe that whatever we do has its own value regardless of what the outcome maybe.  In every experience it is not focus on one emotion alone. It is  a series of emotion  varying from happiness, excitement, joy, pain, suffering, loss and tears. Every experience of that emotion has its worth and ought to be judge separately. The same way that every experience that we have, has a lesson that is worth keeping.

I would only consider something not worth it if and only if that person and the experience is brutal and abusive.  Physical pain that is inflicted to someone with conscious knowledge on the severity of the pain to be inflicted  is really a thing that should not be experienced by anyone. For only sadist people relish this kind of activity. That, is not worth it.

Apart from that, in my opinion, every experience has its value.

That it is worth fighting for something you believe in even if you’re the only person fighting for it; to be working tirelessly for the family you love even if it is the only thing you have been doing;  to experience mistakes  even if at the start you already know it's going to hurt badly; to keep dreaming even if you have failed a million times; and to be loving someone even if it is just you doing the loving ;even if that  person have kept putting your hopes down; even if loving has made of you a stupid person;  even if it kept you awake late at night crying;  or even if risking in a relationship knowing that more of the risks are on you.

These experiences ought to be treated as priceless. However painful it may be it has a worth. This worth lies in the lessons that we gain enabling us to grow and mature in life.  To continue with life's daily battles. It is in these "not worth it" stuffs that we keep breathing. It gives us hope to go on believing even if there is nothing left to believe; for hope is the fuel that keeps man running in life.

So the next time I get to choose between what is ' worth it and what is not', I would first consult my heart then my mind for those that are not worth it for other people may be the only thing that would give worth to my life.