Loving Rey

Nine months ago, I wrote an article entitled Second Chance (Knowing Rey) without any thought that there will be a sequel, one that would come deep from my heart.

This is the ninth month that I have come to know him as a friend and a co-worker but this is also the sixth month that I have come to know him as a lover, one I only dreamed but never imagined to happen. “Beyond my wildest dreams” that is what I could describe him to be.

Starting out together had been tough. We both have to endure the scars which our past experiences and relationships have left. There are often times that previous issues would pop out because it has been left unresolved. Insecurity was very much evident; trust on each other has been severely tested; acceptance, jealousy, conformity, character, values and beliefs, those are our hot issues which usually strain us both.

As a first timer in relationships, he has taught me many first times. One I would gladly share is the first kiss. Funny as I remember it now. I was very much innocent when he was trying to kiss me. He had a hard time getting that one kiss because I was laughing so damn hard. I was laughing not because it was funny; I was more laughing because I felt so stupid and so afraid that I don’t know how to kiss him back, thinking that if I kiss him, he will just be disappointed. Believe me! I could hear my heart, it was not beating it was pounding hard! Oh he knows it will be my first kiss, and he was patient and waited for me to accept the fact that a kiss is really bound to happen that night.

So it happened. Hmmm…. I will leave it to your imagination the kind of kiss we shared. All I could say is, beyond my wildest dreams for what a kiss is, for the happiness of knowing that I have actually preserved this moment for that one person my heart would be willing to risk. And I was actually kissing that person I so dreamed of.

That kiss also marked a deepening of my feelings for him. I was gladly hooked to him. But as I have said, it was not a smooth sailing start and I don’t think it will ever be. For a relationship does not need to be smooth sailing for it to succeed. It only needs two committed person deciding to sail amidst the turbulent seas believing that if we are able to make it through then there would be no storm too strong for us not to conquer.

See! That is what he makes of me. A poet. His love, and loving him has transformed me so much as a person. I get to be able to see past myself and focus more on understanding others; to consider the needs of the person I love above my own; to know what is important for him and consider it and value it to be able to show my love by supporting him; I learned to be proud of someone else other than myself.

He has taught me so much about love and that is why there many things I hope that I could impart to him and one is to see himself that way I see him. Precious. I want him to know how special he is as a person not only because I love him but because he is who he is. This is what life had given him to be and it should be something he should be proud of. He should be able to walk proudly and say to himself ‘I passed one of life’s lesson’. If there are things he wishes to change or regrets afraid to happen again, he should continue walking and say ‘I have I regrets i learned from them now, I will do my best for that regret not to happen the second time around’.

There are many more things that I could talk about him. I could go on for days talking just about him and I would not grow tired. Maybe I would make another one like this if Bro still approves of us being together in a relationship. At this point, maybe I should put the disclaimer that, everything you have just read is all my point of view.

I would not say that ours is a perfect relationship for it is far from being one, nor it is my ideal for it is beyond that. For me, it is a happy relationship, where we are learning about ourselves through each other’s strength and weakness. Through each other’s love. Maybe one day, this love will grow deeper and we will become each other’s inspiration for astounding success or maybe we will go separate ways, we will never know. But for now, all I could say is what my heart feels. And it says:

“I am happy loving Rey.”