Second Chance

October 12, 2010

Alone in my room, now I have the time to ponder on the events of my day. Interesting one. A friend of mine was able to read one of my blogs on the topic learnings on love (2/x). He said he liked it and further commented that I reminded him of his late wife. Sad honestly, but it was not that one that took my attention. It was when he requested me to write an article on him.

An article? God! I barely know the man and he is asking me to write something on him. Will I be able to give him justice in my writing? Not only that, I am afraid to write something on him,  for I might be able to discover things and feelings within me that I am not yet ready to entertain. But he is a friend and I owe him a lot, the least I can do is give him a write up (hopefully it is plain and an unbiased opinion of him)

So here it goes…

  

Reynaldo Novida. Ondo or Rey for short. I really don't know which he prefers that I call him for I only say 'sir', being one of my fellow faculty in STI. I could not remember an occasion where we were  formally introduced but I could remember the first time I saw him.

I was teaching AutoCad in one of the laboratories and he was teaching another subject in the other lab. I was shy of approaching him for I don't even know his name but one thing did struck me 'he's cute!' More reason for me to be shy of him. As school days progressed, and the administration gave me some regular class load, I was able to see him more often. We cross paths along the stairs, the corridors, the lobby and all throughout the school but a single 'hi' nor 'hello' was never uttered. I was living my life, he was living his. Until one day, our individual lives collided.

He asked one of our faculty, also an SFC to do a funeral service for his aunt who recently passed away.  I even asked that SFC "who is rey novida?". And they kept describing. What struck me was that he is widowed already. He lost his child and his wife, whom he loved so much,  two years ago.  Those description summed him up. Pain, loneliness, lost, grief. I myself could not imagine how painful it might be to lose someone who means the world to you.

At the funeral, I was silently observing him, not knowing he is openly observing me. He talked and asked things about me, he may not know it but he really made me uneasy. He seems to be knowing and observing too much, yet I obliged answering his questions. It was nice to look at him and his eyes seem to say so many things.  He was a good and fluent conversationalist and he kept me engrossed in conversation the rest of the night. How would I ever know that it would be the start of the friendship that we are now sharing.

As I am trying to recall now, it puzzles me how we became close. I will try refreshing my memory. At the funeral, we exchanged numbers and he texted a thank you, I guess, when we arrived home. The following morning, I asked my fellow SFC Faculty if they received sir rey's message and they said no.  That's odd I thought. They have been working together for months now yet they have not even exchanged numbers. I openly narrated to them the conversation we had at the wake and without pretensions, I told them that he is nice and he is cute. With eyebrows rising, eyes staring, and smiles teasing,  they knew I had a crush on him. It's just a crush anyway, so what's the big deal!?

Intramurals came, games, competitions and the sort. Mingling with students, mingling with faculty. It was also the blossoming of a new friendship I had with Sir Rey. One turning point in our acquaintance with each other was when I shared to him my family problems.

We were chatting on FB that time when dad announced to me that he is filing an annulment. It broke my heart and he was the only person I could let the pent up emotion be released. I told him while desperately holding my tears in check for dads scrutiny. He offered me a shoulder to cry on, to text him if I wanted to talk about it. I have never openly shared it. And the only person who knows about it, is someone I really don’t have the desire to see. So I am left with Sir Rey or alone in my room, and cry my heart out.  I'll choose someone who could talk back I guess.

It was that night that I got introduced to Reynaldo Novida. Interesting man. He loved his wife and he love her still. I don't think there could ever be a woman who could measure up to the love he has for his wife. No wonder he changes relationships instantly. I envied her wife. How wonderful it might have felt to die knowing that you have been loved so much by the person you also love.  Never had that experienced  of being loved back. But I pitied the man I was talking to. He has forgotten how wonderful the world truly is. He is still living in the past with the memory of his wife. No wonder my fellow faculty would discourage me on him because it would be hard to compete with the memory of his late wife.

I could see how great a man he could be but he failed to see that. He runs his life in women and alcohol. Pain, grief and suffering. He is still mourning. I don't know if he realizes that. I am sure his late wife would be happy if she is seeing him happy. I thought to myself, he is lucky in fact because he already have someone up there who is going to watch over him. Someone he could ask to lead him, to help him, to guide him, to start over on life again.

To start over, carrying with him the learnings, the memories, the love, the pain he had in the lifetime of his wife. Here is this man, who have already experience loss, he should be someone then who values life. Live it to its fullest, experience it, for he himself knows how short life could be, yet this man is wasting, as if every second does not matter, as if every breathe is a reminder of how painful it is to be alive.

I sent a silent prayer to his wife, telling her to help him. And promising her that I would help this man appreciate life again. Also hoping that one day I would be able to visit her (at the cemetery) and be personally introduced to her and talk to her about who I know Rey to be.

That he laughs easily and when he does, it is his eyes that says a lot. He has this lopsided grin habit that makes his smile childish looking. He could stare on you with those mesmerizing eyes and he'll have you weak. It is maybe those eyes that wins him over the women. He is broadminded and smart. If he lets himself unwind, you'll see how easy going he is. Not to mention he is sweet.  With all those adjectives, no wonder I had to have myself immunized by his so called charms.

Yet all those character  fades into distance as he keeps holding on to misery. This I want to tell her about what has become of the man she loves. As I was thinking that,  my eyes opened on the reason and purpose of why I met him  in this lifetime. It is to make me realize that I could love again without needing to erase all the love I used to have for someone. To realize how beautiful life can be if we start to truly love again, bringing with us the lessons of the previous relationships.

I don't know what my purpose in his life is but right now, I want to help him, to start appreciating life, love and loss. I don't know either if any of my efforts are succeeding, but I hope that one day before our paths go separate ways, he would be able to realize that He is one great man, for he almost had my heart beating for him.

So for you Rey, may you not let life pass by. Live every second of it. This is your only lifetime. Hers is already over. She was able to live it well, happy and loved. Live the way she lived it. No regrets only love.  Grab what fate is offering you. A second chance to live for love.